C2M2

On The Banks Of The Danube Far Away

This mission is weird. It's not terribly difficult if you know the trick, but it has to be executed with great care and precision.

And it is flatly impossible to complete it using the methods described in any of the published walkthroughs I've seen. Not just hard, impossible.

Why? The answer seems to lie in one of the many changes that were made to the original H&D when the H&D Deluxe package was put together. The published walkthroughs, such as that on the Avault site, evidently refer to the original version of the game; and for all I know they work perfectly well in it. They do not work in the Deluxe free-download version.

The reason will be explained later.

MISSION: To get through a hostile Yugoslav city (pro-German, with an SS garrison) and steal a boat moored at an island in mid-river.

CONDITIONS: Nighttime but clear. Street lights are quite bright, especially for wartime.

THE OPPOSITION: Nothing major; a few guards stationed on the streets, a couple on the bridge, a bunch inside this tavern or whorehouse on the island. Nothing you couldn't shoot your way through with ease. Only the instant one shot is fired, anywhere in town, this little bastard runs out onto the dock and starts the engine and motors quickly away and then the mission is failed.

PERSONNEL: The best way to run this one is solo. It's not easy at hardest level, and you may have a few failures before you pull it off, but solo really is simpler and quicker, and at the same time appropriate - if you ran the last one solo, and if you're planning to lone-wolf the next one as well, then it's logical to do this one alone as well.

There is one point right at the end where it can be good to have some backup, but is it worth it? Because running this one with a team is a gigantic pain in the ass. The AIs simply are not smart enough to cope with something this sophisticated; they get confused, and you have to lead them around by the hand, and it's not any fun.

If you decide you absolutely have to have backup, you still don't need the full four-man team. You need only one or two men besides your character. They need to be pretty good shots, with decent reactions, but they also need to have high endurance levels because there's a good chance they'll get hit a time or two. And it's possible you'll lose one, so don't take anyone irreplaceable. (Another good argument for going solo.) Strength isn't important; nobody's got anything heavy to carry.

EQUIPMENT: A knife. Four explosive charges. That's all, if you're soloing. Same if you've got one man with you. If you've got two partners along, you'll need a Sten as well. You'll be carrying all of it at the start; these jokers get in less trouble when they're unarmed.

AT THE START: You're all standing on a side street near the main bridge in a Yugoslav city with a name not worth learning to pronounce. There's nobody nearby.

PROCEDURE: I'm going to assume you're doing this solo. Later I'll give you a few suggestions if you really must have company.

Move across the street in front of you and turn left and walk or run down the sidewalk. One walkthrough mentions following a trolley car, but there aren't any in the Deluxe version. Anyway there's nobody around in this part of the street.

You will come to a place where there is an archway leading off the sidewalk toward an inner courtyard. Move into the arched area out of sight. You'll be safe there, the patrols don't come this far up the main drag.

Keep going through the arched passageway and turn sharply left, crouching down and running and taking cover by the wall to the left of the big entryway. Use third-person view to watch the street beyond. A sentry will eventually pass. Sit cool; almost certainly another one will be along shortly. If not then you can try moving very nervously up into the passageway, hugging the wall, and using third-person to look around the corner and see if anybody else is coming.

When the coast seems to be clear, sprint like hell across the street and into the archway on the other side. You'll find yourself in a kind of long courtyard. At the far end is a clothesline with a bunch of vaguely shaped rags hanging from it. Four clotheslines actually, four collections of rags. Why they're hanging out on the line in the middle of the night - particularly in a river town, where mist will inevitably rise off the water and permeate the whole area by morning - we do not know, but there they are.

Walk up to the first batch and use the Use command to take them down. You may have to fool with this a little, it can be cranky. Using your inventory command, select the suit of civvies just as you'd select a weapon. Hey presto, just look at you. They didn't look like much on the line, but they turn out to fit you perfectly. (They even include a cap and civvy shoes, which of course we know would be found on any self-respecting clothesline.)

By now you will be thinking, "This is a damn silly mission." You will be correct. But it has a certain weird charm, and anyway it has to be completed to go on with the game, so let's get on with it.

You could at this point go back the way you came and turn up the street and be treated to the sounds of an aria coming from a night club with a neato neon sign; but there could be Nazis up that way too, or patroling the street, so don't push your luck. As you start back the way you came, you'll see another archway on your left. Go through that and up a long narrow alley till it ends, then turn left and follow the winding, zigzagging street all the way to its end. If you get confused, pull up the map; it's not really very complicated but it can be disorienting.

When you get to the end of the narrow street you will see you are about to come out on a bigger, more open area. At this point you should stop and save the game. You'll see why in a moment.

Go on down some steps and out onto the larger street and turn left. There's a kind of little park with some SS bastards standing around. Avoid them and keep going. By now you can see the bridge ahead of you. Standing on it are two National Socialists with a bad attitude problem. This is where it gets nasty.

Theoretically, the enemy AIs in this mission are programmed not to shoot at anybody in civvies. But as Dad used to say, a man has tits because theoretically he might have a baby. Most of the time they will obey the prohibition and refrain from firing, but it's obviously a big strain for them. I mean, you can see it, just watching the way they act; their little AI minds sense that something's not right, here's somebody they ought to shoot only there's this incomprehensible command against it....

It's almost comical to see; they fidget and shift around and jerk their weapons this way and that. Only it's not funny at all when you realize what will happen if their control snaps - and now and then, on occasion, it does. This has happened to me maybe three or four times: a man is walking along in his civvies, no weapons showing, not doing a thing out of the ordinary, and suddenly a guard screams "Englander!" and cuts him down.

There are things you can do to minimize the risk. First is to avoid any unnecessary contact with the evil bastards. That's why you went through that maze of alleys rather than just walking up the main drag. (And don't even think about helping yourself to a car; the minute you drive past a bunch of SS they will open fire and blow you to shit. I know, I tried it.)

But when you do have to walk right past them, on the bridge, then be cool. Walk straight and don't make any sudden movements or major course changes. Don't run. Above all don't walk directly toward them; that really sets them off. Just ignore them. I find it's best to do this in third-person; it's easier to control the character's movements and keep them smooth and regular.

When you get across the bridge - assuming you do, and you probably will - turn to the right, as you pass the parked truck, as if you're heading toward the doorway; but then go on around the building and walk your character up to the railing. Keep going and he'll climb the railing and jump down to the little rocky beach below.

Take out the knife. Stash it. You know how to do this? Select it from the menu, so it appears in your hand. Select it a second time and it will vanish. Practice this a few times before proceeding; you're about to have to do it very fast. Make sure it's hidden, not showing in your hand, before you proceed.

Now you get to do a real commando number. You're going to knife the guards out by the boat dock. You can do this in either first or third person.

Either way, this is how you do it: walk up to the son of a bitch, cool as shit, very straightforward, no fancy maneuvers or trying to sneak up behind him. "Guten Abend! Heil Hitler! Churchill kaput! You got tsigarette for good Serb friend?" Like that. Just walk straight up to the stupid bastard without hesitation. Right up in his face. He'll probably point his MP-40 at you but he's confused, he'll swing it off in some other direction.

You've got just a couple of seconds - if that - before he gets his finger out. Very quickly, select the knife, so it appears in your hand, and hit the trigger. If you do it fast enough all you'll get is a muffled grunt as he goes down. More likely you'll get "Englanduuunh" or "Der Tommooogh", as he tries to yell but gets cut off in mid-outcry. Don't worry about it, nobody's going to come.

You have to put the knife away just as fast as you got it out. You've got another stab job to do. Walk away from the cadaver and on around the corner of the seawall. There's another guard standing on the shore, this one with a rifle. Give him the same treatment: walk right up to him, select the knife, trigger to stab him, select again and make it vanish before he hits the ground.

See, you're now in full view of those trigger-happy shitheads on the bridge. If they see you with a weapon, even a knife, they'll open fire. You can be standing over the body of their buddy and they won't even notice, but you take two steps away from him with that blade showing in your hand and they'll chop you.

So get it out of sight and walk back around the corner of the seawall and up the steps and around back of the building. OK, now we come to the point where this mission diverges radically from the same mission in the earlier versions of the game.

All the advisories and walkthroughs will tell you that all you have to do now is get in the boat and start the engine and motor away. No. NO. Maybe that was true then, but not now. Not in the Deluxe download version.

If you get in that boat and start the engine - if you even get as far as going into the wheelhouse - huge numbers of Waffen SS will pour out of the establishment on the island and begin shooting at you. As soon as they hit the boat with even a short burst it will explode in flames and kill all of you.

And this will happen, with absolute inevitability. They will shoot at you, they will hit you - they could hardly miss something the size of that boat - and it will blow up. Never fails. You die. Oh the embarrassment.

Various suggestions have been made as to how to overcome this problem, but I've only found one that works reliably: blow up the damn building.

Why else did you think I told you to bring those four charges? If you didn't, you are now shit out of luck; go back and restart the mission and this time do what I told you.

Set one charge in front of the entrance. Set another one about halfway down the front wall. (The bridge guards can see you but somehow they don't pay any attention to a stranger planting mysterious objects next to their buddies' hangout.) Go around to the end, by the parked Kubelwagen, and set one at the corner nearest the steps and one about two-thirds of the way toward the back wall. Try to set the timers so they'll go off as close together as possible, but - this is important - the one at the entrance needs to go off first. Otherwise one or more of them may escape. It's not likely, but I've seen it happen. At the same time of course don't stand around fiddling with timers and blow yourself to shit.

(I have successfully done this with only one charge, placed exactly in the middle of the entrance. Nobody at all got out, either. But this depends on absolutely correct placement and still there's a good deal of luck involved. Use all four charges; live a little. Just, as I say, make damn sure the one by the entrance goes off first.)

Now get your ass back down those steps, fast, and take that first sentry's MP-40. It's OK, the bridge guards can't see you. Don't go out to the boat yet. Step over to one side, to your left as you're facing back toward the island and about even with the dead guard. Get into position so you can cover the steps and the railed platform. Wait while the seconds tick away.

When the charges go off it's such a rush. If you timed it right the whole building catches fire; the parked vehicles go up too, so it's a hell of a blaze. When you consider that the place is packed with SS thugs, it's a really satisfying feeling.

Don't, however, get in a hurry to run out to the boat. Sometimes a couple of Nazis escape despite everything and they'll run out to the end of the platform, next to the steps. Shoot them quickly and thoroughly.

Stand there, covering the steps and the platform, and be patient; wait and make absolutely sure nobody else is coming. Don't worry, the goons over in the town won't come; they don't even take any interest.

When you're confident you've got the island to yourself, you can trot out on the pier and climb into the boat and take the wheel. Just walk up to the back of the wheelhouse and hit your Use key, same as when getting aboard a truck. Take a deep breath and hit your forward motion key to start the engine.

If you made a mistake and left even one German alive on the island, now is when you'll find out immediately; there'll be a burst of fire and the boat will blow up and you will die. If there's no gunfire when you start the engine then you're OK; they're either there right away or not at all.

This is the part that can really drive you crazy. The boat is very cranky and it's easy to get hung up at the dock. You have to leave the steering keys completely alone and just let the boat move straight forward until it clears the dock. It seems natural to try to turn it to port to get clear of the dock, but if you do that it will get hung up and then you can take forever getting clear. So just drive straight ahead and then once you're clear of the dock you can use the direction keys to keep it moving in the desired direction.

Watch the compass; it's easy to get disoriented in the darkness. If you get turned around and head toward the town or the bridge, you'll get shot up.

***

If you insist on doing this as a team job, you need to understand one thing right off: you're going to have to hand-walk each of your team members to the objective. Don't even think about using the map or follow-me. Leave them on their own for an instant and they'll do something weird and get shot up.

Leave your man or men in that arched passageway at the beginning and go and get enough clothes for everybody. You should be able to walk back across the street safely if you're cool and don't get too close to any guards. Have the other man or men change in the passageway and then give them Wait while you walk your own character through the streets and out to the island.

Then you can have your character wait on that little beach area below the whorehouse while you go back and walk the next man to the objective, and so on. Remember, every time you go by those bastards on the bridge, you increase the chance of freaking them into firing; so save each time before you start a man across.

When you've got everybody assembled down on the shore, you'll have to leave them there - still unarmed - while you go and knife the guards. One man can come out and get the first guard's MP-40. If you've got two men with you, you can take out the Sten now and give it to the other man.

Walk them out to the boat and have them lie down in the stern. Now go back and set your charges and get back down the steps and out to the boat. Have them rise to a crouching position and give them Guard in the direction of the island (though this is probably unnecessary. You yourself should get into position to enter the wheelhouse, but don't do so yet.

As you see, so far you've done all the work. Here is the only place where a partner or partners can be of value: covering your ass as you get ready to leave.

Your chances probably are a bit better if you've got a couple of guns covering your back when you start the boat up. But they don't provide any guarantee; if you get attacked, it's quite possible they won't be able to stop the Nazis in time to keep them from blowing up the boat, and it's also possible one or both of them will be hit. Really, you've got just as good a chance on your own, taking care of any stragglers yourself.

Besides, it's such a cool story line you've got going here. Daring commando leader gets dropped in the wrong place, makes his way out of the woods despite being surrounded by armed enemies, sneaks into town and steals boat, goes on downstream and attacks the objective single-handed....

But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Just start the boat and sail away. Uh huh. Sounds so easy, sounds like so much fun, doesn't it? Christ. You will, believe me, be so glad to see the last of this mission.

But not, I'm afraid, the last of this boat. No, you're not done with it yet. Or it's not done with you.

INDEX

PREVIOUS MISSION

NEXT MISSION